Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Reality Bites

I was feeling a bit down today. So I Twittered (or Tweeted) my news:

Ordered progressive lenses for my new glasses. Can a walker be far behind?

I'll admit, I was looking for a little sympathy from my middle-aged Twitter compatriots there. Some reassurance, maybe, that my body wasn't going to suddenly start deteriorating at warp speed now that I'm in my mid-40's. Is that so wrong? I didn't think so. But what do I get? This from Octamom:

It (wait for it...) DEPENDS...(wahahahahhaahhaa--I'm cracking myself up.....)

Sigh. Everyone's a comedian, it seems...





*****************

In related news, last night was another middle-aged first for me. I could put it off no longer; my self-respect (and my dress pants waistband) demanded that I swallow my pride and cast my illusions of a still-youthful figure aside. So to Bunko last night, I wore my first foundational undergarment (not counting my brassiere, the construction of which requires engineering expertise the equivalent of which built the Eiffel Tower).

Newbies, click on that brassiere link. It's very informative.

I want to make it clear that this piece of apparel I wore last night is not a girdle - I mean, a girdle is something our mothers wore, pre-Women's Lib and all that. I'm much too modern a woman to need a girdle. It just happens to be a pair of well-constructed, um, panties - yeah, that's it, panties - that "flattens tummy."

Most definitely not a girdle....




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34 comments:

  1. Just call it Spanx and know that Heidi Klum and Halle Berry wear them.
    See, that's why they look so good, without Spanx, they'd be.....me

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  2. If it makes you feel better, I have progressive lenses too,tri-focals, but I won't wear them because that would admitting defeat. You have to get hip and then knee replacement before the walker. Depends come in handy when you are blogging and don't want to get up.

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  3. I have a few pairs of not girdles too. I rationalize them by reminding myself that the prevent pantylines.

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  4. You wore foundations for other women? There is just something wrong with that. We really should be supporting (pun intended) each other more than that.

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  5. Wear that girdle with pride! I've been wearing one for years (and I'm 37). Please tell me that yours goes above the waist. if not, there will be a huge blob rolling over the waistband. At least that's how it is with me.
    I love my girdle, boning and all.

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  6. oh. i wouldn't know anything about that.

    [spanx.]

    also? i totally laughed with your twitter friend (nemesis?) when i read DEPENDS. i'm sorry. like me anyway?

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  7. It's a body shaper and I'm impressed you haven't had to wear one before now.

    I love my progressive lenses. I'm saving up to get a pair in sunglasses--I can no longer read text messages when I'm outside--my arms just aren't long enough!

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  8. I may be small but that doesn't make me easy to fit either. My pal Persnickety has a very large bosom and has to get her bras via mail order. While I certainly respect the difficulties that accompany the ample bosom, I also don't want anything bigger than God already gave me. Small as they are, sometimes they still get in my way. I think I may have to give up on corralling my posterior though. I'll never be anything remotely smaller in the hips than I am now. Any and all clothing I buy has to be tried on first to make sure it fits my odd proportions.
    Hey, proportions...that's what you can call them to "dress them up".

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  9. I was going to write something of sparkling wit and then I saw Funny in my mind's first comment and lost it :)

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  10. Don't feel bad. When I went to get new glasses last year I explained that I was having a hard time focusing on my computer at times.

    His answer "Well, these aren't exactly bifocals, but they've got a spot towards the bottom that will let you see it better."

    Yeah... I was 37 at the time. How much did *that* suck? Seems like after 30 it's all just patch, patch, patch.

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  11. I've needed bifocals since I was 20. And I've been wearing a girdle since the birth of our first child when I realized that the pouch the carried her wasn't ever going to shrink back into oblivion.

    I guess that makes me an old fuddy-duddy.

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  12. I wear Spanx for contemporary dresses and skirts and I wear actual girdles with vintage clothing. Spanx are definitely kinder and gentler, but there's no denying that they are a girdle and do what girdles are supposed to do. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Do what I do. Think of yoursel as retro. You're not getting older. You're recovering the glamour of the elegant past.

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  13. I recently became the proud owner of a pair of reading glasses. They go nicely with the gray hair at my temples. And I'm sorry that I wasn't on twitter when you posted that... although after reading DEPENDS I probably would have needed some...

    Not-girdles are for church and fancy social events. Bunko is for loose waistbands, laughter, and plenty to drink. Just sayin'.

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  14. Who among us doesn't know Spanx intimately, as it were?

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  15. I admit I am queen of the "helpful" undergarments...sigh.

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  16. Heh, I'm about to get a new hip. And forget the bifocals, I just hold things farther and farther away from me.

    I'm looking forward to the day I have a mouth full of dentures that I can take out and scare the kids with.

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  17. Can you believe these are the fashion again? The aging of America...it'll be something when we're all at the bar ordering V8 juice with a Geritol chaser.

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  18. Spanx! I agree with jennie, the ones that go above the waist are a MUST.

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  19. I'm leaning toward the swimdress this year. I'm just tired of dealing with "the bikini line" issue. Does that make me ancient, or what?

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  20. I haven't tried Spanx yet. I'm waiting for them to come out with a model that shoves all my belly flab up to my boobs. I could use a larger cup-size.

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  21. I wore that crap to my 20th highschool reunion. If I could put into words what it takes to get into some of that crap!!!!

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  22. Everyone's a comedian? I was pretty sure I was the ONLY one who came up with that little Depends remark....

    And don't worry, honey. I'm right there with you on the mid-40's bod in slow decline--but I distract myself by keeping my visage in soft-focus by avoiding wearing my glasses as much as possible....

    Hugs and blessings!

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  23. I feel like printing out these comments and posting them above my computer because everyone just made me feel a WHOLE LOT better about being 44 and falling apart at the seams! I thought I was alone! I had no idea! You all are GREAT to be so honest!

    Anyone want to talk about (I can barely say it) hair loss?

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  24. I feel your pain. I'm sitting here trying to get used to Bi-focal (yikes) contact lenses. *sigh*

    I hear Chris on the hair loss too. It really sucks to get old. Of course, I guess it beats the alternative. :)

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  25. I would be afraid the non-girdle would push the flab up and it would spill out over the top. Making my muffin top even larger than ever.

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  26. I don't know. I'm not willing to do the bifocal thing, yet. Yeah, like it's less obvious when I stand there squinting, holding things away from me, and finally lifting my glasses away from my eyes altogether so I can read the small print.

    And I've been wearing those support garments since I was in my 20's, even though I was 100 lbs. smaller back then. I just wear them in layers now. Kind of like steel belted radial tires.....

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  27. Okay, the steel belted radial tires comment got me...Too funny.
    I would love to wear a "not girdle" daily...just can't afford theat many!
    Blessings, E

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  28. Spanx? What the...?

    Once I hit 40 everything started falling apart. Aparently our warranties give out on the 40th birthday. But with my physical problems, I just don't even care whether I have panty lines or...um...Spanx.

    Can you use Spanx in bed? It sounds intriguing. Or maybe I'm not understanding the concept.

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  29. P.S. The last time I wore a pair of pantyhose, I got so uncomfortable that in the middle of dinner I went in the restroom, peeled them off, and tossed them into the tampon trash holder.

    Never again. Ever.

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  30. I asked my mom why she never told me I'd eventually need some extra support. She said she didn't want to depress me in my beautiful youth. I asked her if there was anything to be done about my disapearing jawline. She laughed until she cried

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  31. I'm all about sucking in my belly with those things. After having children, i don't even recognize my belly anymore.

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  32. Just wait until you're on the downhill side of 50!

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  33. I refuse to wear any restricting garments, though that may change after #10 is born in May. My hernia really does not like the 30 poounds I kept from the last 3 kids. Ah, to be 19 and 122 pounds again.

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  34. Actually there are 28G bras to be found - you just have to know where. Specialty shops or the internet. They may be pricier, but once you've worn a bra that truly fits, it is so worth it.

    At 17 I was a 36F. While nursing I was a 36L. Try finding that one in a nursing bra....I think I'm currently between a 36 and 38 and an I cup.

    figleaves.com is one place online I shop.

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